All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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