addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
