I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
