so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
