You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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