Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
