He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
