YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
