Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
