I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do vagina's smell?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
