i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
