turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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