You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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