dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
