I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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