Define "chronic" masturbator.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
