True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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