it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
