Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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