direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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