And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
