Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
