i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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