Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
