Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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