The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
