Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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