i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
