gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you