So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My dick has a subreddit
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*