I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.