More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina