farters have to be the big spoon...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.