That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
