It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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