i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she looked like the before picture.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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