he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
