Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think i have two assholes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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