I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
