After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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