bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
