I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
