Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
