he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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