To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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