Buhtt sex?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
