I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
