dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
