We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
