Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
