Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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