Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She needs sedatives and a leash
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
