But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
