....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's shark week go big or go home
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
