i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
