i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
