It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
