I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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