This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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